I feel it again.

About every other month or so I ache. I ache to live in another place. To change my environment. To be surrounded by strangers. I ache for the self-reflection and discovery that comes from defining oneself in a new element. I ache for the learning that can not be bought or understood from the study of a textbook. I yearn for an understanding about where I fit in the universe. I feel it again. 

Coast.

I have to move to the coast. East or west, north or south is negotiable, but the coast is in my sights. I want to live on the edge of humanity in a place where the most rugged of people settled. I want to eat fresh seafood ALL the time. I want to feel sand under my finger nails and between my toes. I want to kiss on the beach and taste the salt on both of our lips. I want to feel the salt coat my skin. I want to smell. I want to hear the waves. I want to be friends with the sea. 

Water

Ever since I can remember I have been enamored by water. I want to live by a river. Some place where everything has been dusted in green. When I was 10 I asked for a little water fountain for Christmas. I kept it in my room and turned it on while I was reading. I put rocks in there and arranged them in patterns. I loved having that artificial connection to something living. I love the way light dances on the surface of water at night. I love beautiful bridges. Big bridges where cars can drive over big rivers. I want to bike to the middle of the bridge at night and stare at the city lights on the water for hours pondering where I belong in this world. I want to sit in a makeshift boat. When I start to feel lonely I will suddenly jump off it's side, with all my clothes on, and be embraced by the water around me.

Reading

I can't wait to read again. Read whatever I want. Read in a coffee shop on a rainy day, on the beach, in a park under a large tree. Befriend characters who have felt the same way as me. Who are so different and strange to me. I want to learn new words, imagine new places. And feel so human. I want new thoughts to be provoked. I want to think about something more than my immediate needs and desires. I want to ponder.

I graduate in May.